April 2022 – saleintothe90s

458. Gilbert Gottfried’s last episode of Saturday Night Live (3/7/1981)

I had been wanting to cover this exact episode of Saturday Night Live for a while now, years even, and then even more after rewatching Pab Sungenis‘ video about the awful short lived 1980-1981 season. Now I have to because Gilbert died.

This was the episode hosted by Bill Murray, two weeks after the Charlene Tilton episode where Charles Rocket said “I’ve never been shot, I’d like to know who the fuck did it.” and Charlene Tilton screamlaughed and it was amazing.

As of April of 2022, you can watch the episode on archive.org. Of course, it’s the syndicated version, from Comedy Central in the mid 90s, because who was recording this on vhs the night it aired in 1981.

The show begins with Gilbert asking Bill if the cast could talk to him. He does not use the voice we all know and love. It’s strange. Bill gives some advice to Charlie: watch your mouth.

Gilbert. Gilbert, cheer up for me,will ya, pal? Huh? Come on. You’re a very lucky human being. You’re very lucky, you know?

According to the One SNL a Day blog, as the season went on, Gilbert’s on and off screen demeanor became more and more depressed. Bill knew. Bill knew.

aw, they all got to say Live From New York! They would all, except for Joe and Eddie, be fired in a few months! Some right after this episode!

What in the Lisa Frank is this opening. ~~Probably the worst SNL credits ever.~~ (Nope,I forgot season 20) A friend on Instagram told me that it was early Video Toaster technology?

Bill is so excited to be there that he nearly drops a woman on her head. Eddie Murphy has to come out in his cute designer jeans to calm him down. You think they warned that lady in advance? It was 1981, so probably not. Did y’all know that Eddie and Bill have never been in a movie together? I mean, there was this one time they were going to be in some Batman movie together?? but that fell through.

In a pre-recorded short, Joe Piscopo plays Paulie Herman, a chemical worker (from Jersey!) who plays in chemical dust all day and even has some on his sandwich. 63 cancer free days at the factory!

He goes the Paramus Park Mall! He goes to Spencers and then goes to one of those Organ shops all malls had back then! That mall is still open, not a dead mall!

There’s a bit about a recently retired Walter Cronkite putting himself in a sensory depravation tank. Bill comes out of the tank not wet. Nobody is laughing at this bit. This sketch is extremely long.

We get it, he’s on drugs.

It is 19 minutes in this syndicated cut and we haven’t seen Gail Matthius or Gilbert. We even saw short lived featured player Matthew Laurance twice!

We finally see Gilbert and Gail in this redic. sketch about celebrities changing their last names to Chapstick, a-la the 1970s Suzy Chapstick commercials. He’s playing Roman Polanski-Chapstick. eww

Bill did a sweet lil tribute / where are they now to his past castmates masked as his annual Oscar predictions.

Charles Rocket’s Weekend Update segments were notoriously bad that season, although this was kind of funny:

There’s another scandal that affects everyone who owns a television set. Oh, sure, I know many of you read about it in TV Guide — Cocaine is taking over Hollywood. Is that shocking, or what? The investigation is on, and everyone is scrambling. On the set of “Alice”, for example, they’ve taken all the spoons out of Mel’s Diner. At taping sessions, actors are understandably hesitant to call out: “Where are my lines?!”

The “we’re not sleeping with Mary Cunningham” bit is too topical for most to remember now. Mary was promoted quickly at the Bendix corporation, leading many to speculate that she was promoted because of her relationship with her supervisor, and not because of her skills, pretty much. Gilbert played a stereotypical hispanic janitor at hew new company who says he won’t sleep with her:

Phil Beekman: Manuel! Our favorite janitor here at Seagram’s! [ Manuel enters ] Tell us, honestly, have you gotten anything off of Mary?
Manuel: No! I have NEVER had Mary Cunningham as my passionate child-woman! The flower of my burning lust taken in rapture! No! No joke! Never! I think of her as another executive.
Phil Beekman: Thanks, Manuel! I’m sure we all do.

There’s an adorable sketch where Bill and Ann Risley can’t remember the name of a friend’s cat. It’s silly dumb.

The last segment is an absolute bonkers sketch where Denny Dillion and Bill play a divorced couple who still have to run their laundromat together.

Aw, at least Gilbert was up front during goodnights — because that was the last time you’d see him on SNL.

Dick Ebersol came in and did a mass cleanup — Ann, Charles, and Gilbert were fired. There would be one more episode for this season before a writer’s strike ended it. That episode is erratic as heck, and I’m going to cover it soon.

One SNL a Day’s post about the episode.

A very short playlist of Gilberts work on SNL via the SNL YouTube Channel

Episode of Gilbert’s podcast where Malcolm McDowell is the guest and they talk about their awful episode of SNL. I’m gonna listen to this one day at work.

Denny Dillon Reflects on Saturday Night Live’s Infamous 6th Season

Oh! If you use WordPress to read this site, I finally fixed the archive link! Did you know that in October it’ll be ten years?!

457. More “Herb”

So when I made that 1986 Super Bowl commercials entry a few months back, I wanted to touch more on Herb, but needed the extra time to obsessively flip through old newspapers online. I did it.

When these cryptic ads began to pop up in papers in November of 1985, people named Herb who owned money to let’s say, mob bosses began to get weary.

Of course, the parodies and jokes began to roll out:

It is still too early to tell whether Herb is doing for Burger King what Shamu has done for Sea World. But one thing is sure — other chain restaurants are intent on stealing some of Herb’s thunder. Signs at Wendy’s and Ponderosa Steak House outlets in Central Florida proclaim that Herb is too busy eating in those places to appear at Burger King. Pizza Hut, in celebration of last week’s National Pizza Week and to promote its new delivery service in this market, distributed pizza boxes containing a flier that read: “Herb won’t be eating burgers this week either.” There has even been a sighting of a trailer sign in front of a local Presbyterian church with the message: “Man does not live by bread alone, Herb.” Perhaps to fend off the exploitation of its campaign by rivals, Burger King will finally unveil Herb this week. He will surface Tuesday morning on NBC’s Today show. 1

I had to re-read this article several times to understand it.

And of course, people stole the cardboard cutouts of Herb that were in every Burger King.

I wanted to find newspaper articles about people finding Herb in their town-after all, he visited every state and parts of Canada. That was harder than I thought it would be! Turns out, sometimes, the local paper din’t care or didn’t know that Herb had arrived, I guess. I mean, before Herb made his super bowl debut, articles began popping up wondering if people would even care once Herb showed his face.

Also, I wasn’t aware that Herb showed up on Today before the commercial. How dare he!

People in York, Pennsylvania seemed annoyed by the campaign:

Also, people who were named Herb (ok, maybe one or two people) were upset, which is really stupid:

Boy, you are 32 years old, you have bigger fish to fry than to be upset over a commercial. Also, don’t remind people about Herbert Hoover. He was a terrible president.

Then, there was a guy in Colorado who looked an awful lot like Herb:

Someone got mad that he wore glasses?

and of course, the boomer jokes.

Little kids did a program for old people where they parodied old commercials. A kid attempted to dress like Herb!

In Schuykill County, Pennsylvania, kids dressed like Herb for a contest! You’re right, Kelly, Herb is funny.

Herb even made a yearbook or two.

Alright, alright, so Herb hits the road!

(these aren’t in order)

Kansas – Levenworth

Maryland – Baltimore

Nevada – Reno

Arizona – Tempe

(also an interview with Herb! Jon Menick stays in character though the interview! Just a lil guy from Wisconsin!)

Mmm! Wisconsin couldn’t make their mind up whether they were proud or embarrassed by Herb:

(also, Wisconsin – Milwaukee)

Pennsylvania – unknown

Herb visited Gimbel’s department store in Pittsburgh.

He also showed up at an American Heart Association fundraiser while in Pennsylvania.??

Montana – Bozeman

Hawaii – Hilo

North Carolina – Charlotte

Utah – West Valley City

Mississippi – Biloxi

This Herb sighting kind of bummed me out. The winner would go to the same Burger King six or seven times a day for two months. That’s redic.

Florida – Lake Worth

Ohio – [Grove City?]

Illinois – Chicago

(the Gary from the commercial! )

I thought, `Hey! That looks like Herb!’ ” said the 24-year-old Franklin Park bachelor. Like the rest of us, Sirotzke has been inundated lately with teasers about Madison Avenue’s ultimate nebbish, billed as the only American never to have set lips on a Whopper. “So I went up and asked him, and all this happened.” 2

Rhode Island – [Providence?]

]

A giggly, glossy-faced fellow with thinning hair and horn-rimmed glasses, [Herb] hiked up his pant leg to proudly display his white socks, tweaked the winner’s cheeks, and invited him to reciprocate. When Ham obliged, Herb said, “I love you. Some of the people are . . .,” and he made a deadly face.
As he spoke, he took a black marker to sign a huge plastic banner. Meaning to write, “Herb was here,” he got confused and wrote, “Herb was Herb.” A Burger King employee pointed out the mistake. Herb giggled, then wrote, “You was you.”
The reporters paid more attention to Herb than the customers did. If nothing else, Herb knows his way around the press. He took one reporter aside and in conspiratorial tones, promised to tell the full story behind the story when the Herb shtick ends in March. 3

Wyoming – Laramie

(from Reddit user wyoming_1)

Idaho – Twin Falls

New Mexico – Albuquerque

Texas – El Paso

El Paso broke the mold by telling people herb would be in the area that day!

/edit, April 21st/

Colorado – Denver

I’d love to find every single Herb appearance, but I’ve been at this for hours. I’m upset I couldn’t find Virginia! Oh, wait, I forgot one — Vermont (Brattleboro) . Vermont LOVED Herb the Nerd. They went behind the scenes with him in his Jon Menick clothes! He got a haircut! The article is too big so I linked to the jpg of the newspaper scan.

Another article that’s too big is this absolutely insane article from Florida where someone found Jon Menick’s parents and did a long interview with them, including baby pictures! (1, 2)

I wanted to know if the $1 million was given away! Yes! It was in Louisville, Kentucky at the still open Oxmoor Center Mall where Herb had visited a few months prior. A young man who worked at Sears won the million dollars.

Herb looks upset in that photo. Probably because it would be his last public appearance.

Where's Herb?

Wrestlemania 2, THAT'S the fuck where. pic.twitter.com/jIDRJd1eZ4
— OVP – Retro Wrestling Podcast (@ovppodcast) April 7, 2022

Before this, he appeared at Werestlemania II as a timekeeper along with Joan Rivers. All I can find is this gif. (source)

The Herb campaign was on many “worst of” 1986 lists. Along with Joan Rivers!

Reed, Julia. ‘Herb Again’. Orlando Sentinel , January 20, 1986.
“Herb the Nerd Surfaces Auditor IDs Him, Wins $5,000 Prize.” Chicago Sun – Times, Jan 31, 1986.
Johnson, Maria Miro. “Herb hands out $5,000, hams it up for press Cranston man claims reward for spotting actor.” Providence Journal, February 6. 1986.

456. Daily Press, April 1, 1989

The detail that these murdered people were found in a Volvo covered by teddy bears.

Funny how I’m compiling this as I’m watching the movie Spencer.

Oh, so this was right after President Bush’s dog, Millie had babies:

Millie, the first dog, gave birth Friday night, bearing at least two puppies at the White House beauty parlor, according to Anna Perez, a spokeswoman for First Lady Barbara Bush.
The springer spaniel produced her first puppy at 9:15 p.m. and another 15 minutes later, Perez said. She said there was a possibility that more would be born.
President Bush, knowing of his wife’s concern about Millie and the pups, had a bed moved into the beauty parlor for the First Lady, Perez said. He then went to bed by himself in another room, she said. 1

Thus, the last time puppies were born at the White House. Spot, George H.W. Bush’s dog was one of Millie’s babies.

I originally read this article wrong and thought the family was ON the tennis court and the plane crashed on them. The cause wasn’t found until 1992:

The National Transportation Safety Board has blamed pilot error and improper maintenance for a twin-engine plane crash here three years ago that killed all five members of a Canadian family heading home from a Disneyland holiday.
“The pilot failed to attain adequate airspeed before maneuvering back toward the airport, which resulted in a loss of aircraft control,” the safety board said in a report on the March 31, 1989, crash. A contributing factor, the agency said, was an improperly installed part that allowed contamination of fuel injectors and a loss of power in the right engine. 2

A job spending money just to meet me for an interview, put me in a fancy hotel for an interview, is something completely foreign to me. I do not have law school in late 1990s privilege. I was too dumb for that in school. I’m still dumb.

There was an article about swimsuit help, you know? Problem is, they showed no swimsuits! I went looking for some 1989 swimsuits, and the closest I could find was the Sears catalog from 1988—but there are still ruffles!

This is a strange article for the newspaper. Connie Chung was on David’s show a few times? ok.

Here is the “a day with Connie Chung” bit, and here is part two.

Working Girl was still in the theaters! Albeit, the dollar theater, but still! That movie came out in December. I guess Forum couldn’t say they had topless dancers, so they used the word Stopless instead?

Fraggle Rock on every night during the week? Man, I miss early cable.

Oh, here we go, Funky Winkerbean disappointing us again. That’s not a joke. That’s … nothing. Where is my person who writes Sun of Stuck Funky at, I need them to look at this.

I’ve mentioned dozens of times before that my mom would read me the comics when I was little. I had completely forgotten about Adam. Little me probably confused it with Rose is Rose or something. Adam has a totally different, nearly unrecognizable look now.

So this was when department stores like Montgomery Ward and Sears began selling more name brand items and less of their in-store brands and making their electronics departments bigger.

Highland closed their doors in March of 1993. We all know what happened to Montgomery Wards in 2000 and Sears is, as always, on death’s door. Last time I checked there are about 17 left.

Well, the comic book fans had nothing to worry about, right? I’ve never seen Batman 1989–and it was the first VHS tape my dad ever bought and I STILL have never seen Batman ’89.

Oh, boy. Nick’s. This place was a D U M P. And their logo looks like a dead Willard Scott, sorry Willard.

‘Puppy Love at White House: Millie Has 2’. Los Angeles Times. 18 March 1989. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1989-03-18-mn-140-story.html.
‘Investigators Blame Pilot for ’89 Plane Crash That Killed 5 : Report: Safety Board Said Improper Installation of a Part on Twin-Engine Craft Contributed to Death of Canadian Family.’ Los Angeles Times. 4 July 1992. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1992-07-04-me-1087-story.html.