418. The Daily Press “Venom Line”

Back in the early to mid 90s, my hometown newspaper, Daily Press (out of Newport News, Virginia) had this Friday magazine in the newspaper titled Inroads. Inside there were ads and articles about entertainment in the Peninsula area of Hampton Roads. All the places in the ads are long gone, died along with the 90s. Among the ads for strip clubs and the Nsect Club, there was the Venom Line where people would leave voicemails complaining about this, that and the other. 

With the exception of the racist and homophobic messages, (duh), its almost refreshing to read about these complaints from 25+ years ago while we deal with Covid, etc. 

I mean, complaints about Barney and Beavis & Butthead? Refreshing. 

*ackutually*, my college, Mary Baldwin University DID do that back in 1995, with the addition of the VWIL (Virginia Women’s Institute for Leadership) program. No boys allowed. When I was at Mary Baldwin (ten years ago), about once a week the VWIL students would got VMI for more classes. 

At first, I thought this person meant that back of the Pearl Jam Ten shirt. So I googled, and I think they’re referring to this shirt.

By the time I was in high school, about 8 years after this was printed, I thought it was strange whenever people I knew announced they were going to Christopher Newport University. Why go away to college ten minutes from your house? 

Pinto problems.

aw, back when people hated Conan. *cries* This was from April, May of 1993, right when it was announced he was taking over David Letterman’s spot. I guess that one person died in 2015.

I unfortunately do not have this hairy underarm ad this guy is referring to. 

Gaucho Queen? Did she wear those pants? Is she tacky? Clogs were briefly in during this phase in the 90s.

Oh! This was back when one of the local malls, Patrick Henry in Newport News, imposed a “no kids unless they’re with their parents” rule. I need to look more into this one.  I was in 5th grade at the time, and I thought “oh my god, that mall must be a rough and tumble place if the kids are banned!”. I was a stupid kid. 

This was also back when kids with cars could leave school and get lunch. Yeah, that don’t happen in the town I’m from anymore. My high school stopped it around 93 or 94 when a boy was stabbed by another boy who had came from a rival high school during his lunch break. The poor kid died.

Line Dancing was so popular in ‘93, ‘94 that apparently Patrick Henry Mall had it on Wednesday Nights?! 

  I wish I knew what commercial they were talking about?? I found one where a blonde twit tattooed the price of a $1.49 chicken bbq sandwich on his arm, but no 99¢ twit. 

That one is 100% true. z104 was my radio station back then. 

I get that Pasquale joke, I used to read Rose is Rose.

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337. 88 Things About 1988 Part 8

(part 7)

62. 
Consumer Reports calls for a ban on the Suzuki Samurai automobile (6/3)

The publisher of Consumer Reports called on the Federal Government yesterday to recall the Suzuki Samurai, a four-wheel-drive vehicle that the magazine said was prone to roll over if maneuvered quickly to avoid an accident.

[…]

Consumer Reports rated the Samurai “not acceptable” – the first such rating in 10 years – and said the safety administration should recall the 150,000 Samurais on the road in this country.

[…]

“The problem is inherent in its design. The only way to fix it is to make the vehicle longer, wider and heavier.” The magazine said owners should be given refunds.

Officials of Consumers Union, the nonprofit testing organization that publishes Consumer Reports, said at a news conference that tests last month of a 1988 model found that the Samurai tipped over on dry pavement at speeds of less than 40 miles an hour if a driver made a sharp turn or other evasive maneuver. The problem, the magazine says in a report to be published in the July issue, is that the Samurai is short and light and has a high center of gravity. 1

63. 1992 U.S. Women’s Olympic Figure Skating Team at the 1988 U.S. Nationals

I found it interesting that in 1988, all three ladies of the 1992 Figure Skating Team were already skating at the national level, and had pretty respectable placings at this event four years before the 1992 Olympics. Tonya Harding was 5th, Kristi Yamaguchi was 10th, and Nancy Kerrigan was 12th.

Thing is, there’s no clips!  I would love to see them skate way back then. I found a clip of Kristi at the 1988 World Juniors Competition, she probably skated a similar routine at nationals?

64. No More Male hairdressers in Iraq (12/5)

65. Kokomo 

We were cursed with the Beach Boy’s song Kokomo from the Cocktail soundtrack. John Stamos played drums in the video for some reason, and the Beach Boys were on Full House way too many times after this.

I think I like Tan Stewie’s version better:

Key Largo, Montego baby why don’t we go

Down to Kokomo

But not too fast

’Cause Stewie takes it slow…

I hate the term “pretty mama”.

66. George Harrison has his mind set on you

The first version of this video is godawful. The second version is classic.

The first version of this video is godawful. The second version is classic.

The first version of this video is godawful. The second version is classic.

The first version of this video is godawful. The second version is classic.

67. Northwest Airlines declares no smoking on North American flights  (April 23)

68. Premier Smokeless Cigarettes 

“Tastes like shit and smells like a fart!”  – Barbarians at the Gate 

“It tastes like burning plastic,” said Jan Trulock, an administrative assistant in the Pima County Superior Court in Tucson, who tried the cigarette. “We have three smokers in my house. We all tried them and ended up throwing them in the sink. We said, ‘You’ve got to be kidding.’ ” Harsh as it was, Ms. Trulock’s opinion was far from exceptional in the interviews. Smokers who tried the Premier reported a variety of disagreeable traits in the cigarette, which is also facing medical review on both state and Federal levels. The smokers complained, among other things, that the cigarette has an unpleasant smell, that it lacks flavor, that it does not burn down like a normal cigarette and that it is too hot to hold. 2

Here is is a video on how it worked, it doesn’t start getting interesting until about 10:20 in. 

69. The first Holiday Barbie 

70. David Letterman does the weather with Al Roker

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1.Levin, Doron P., “Consumer Group Asks Recall Of Suzuki Samurai as Unsafe,” New York Times, June 3, 1988. https://www.nytimes.com/1988/06/03/business/consumer-group-asks-recall-of-suzuki-samurai-as-unsafe.html

2. McGill, Douglas C., “’Smokeless’ Cigarette’s Hapless Start,” New York Times, November 19, 1988. https://www.nytimes.com/1988/11/19/business/smokeless-cigarette-s-hapless-start.html