I’ve recently began an old magazine hoard, trying to make up for all the old magazines I thew out when my family moved in 2000. I found this old issue of Mademoiselle at the thrift store earlier this week from August of 1994. Totally wasn’t expecting to see Jon there:
I was really surprised about all the Conan bashing, but of course Conan was only on the air for a few months when this article was written, so this was back when, I don’t know, it was cool to bash Conan.
Perhaps this is the story of the very first Person of WalMart.
In April of 1989, a customer complained that the bottle of Listerine that she bought from a Texas WalMart made burned her mouth when she used it. Due to contamination fears that were rampant in the 1980s, WalMart pulled bottles of Listerine off shelves, and sent the bottle the woman complained about, and other samples to the Warner-Lambert company, the (then) manufacturer of Listerine.
After lab tests of the samples, the results were in.
The woman mistook the tingly effects of Listerine to burning. yup.
Sources:
Wal-Mart removes Listerine in 26 states following report
Tweet from Mental Floss about the incident.
Image from this commercial break.
So, this teacher in Chicago had this wonderful idea to shut some 5th and 7th graders up that he was watching while their teachers were away. He let them meddle through his bag and choose from vhs tapes that he had rented. The movie the kids chose was Striptease. The teacher let the kids watch the movie in the computer lab while he looked at porn worked on a project on a computer.
Like most critics who reviewed Striptease, the kids who were objected to it also thought the movie was “nasty."
The teacher who let the students watch the movie, William Ferguson, was fired1.
Source:
Before launching into the article, check out this pic of RuPaul with Dr. Ruth:
There is an article on page 6 about 1994 being a good year for stupid people, including this gem:
I had no clue that there were enough viewers of seaQuest to warrant it being “must see tv” of the O.J. jurors. I had to google Michael Huffington, he’s Arianna Huffington’s ex husband, and spent $28 million to run for Senate in 1994, being the most expensive (at the time) political campaign for a non presidential candidate1.
This artwork amuses me immensely. Who is the guy in the suit next to Anna Nicole though? I like to imagine that it is David Caruso. It better not be Conan.
ha, there was a time in 1990s where popular movie and TV stars would just all of a sudden, wear glasses, usually the biggest glasses they could find (see Sylvester), and usually just wear them once, and that was it. I remember back then Ted Danson had some pretty big “smart guy” glasses:
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(Ted Danson looks pretty good in glasses now)
Oh right, right, right the list.
Forrest Gump was number one, and who would have thought that we would still be talking about number two, and he would be trying to run for president 18 years later:
I forgot about the Contract With America, since I was only 10, 11 in 1994, I for some reason thought it had something to do with computers?! Yeah. Not a bright kid that read the newspaper. Also, I had no clue his first “ugly” wife was HIS HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER. 2
We all laugh at that price for a small pizza now.
Somebody needs to make a reenactment of that fight and put it on YouTube.
…wow.
I want to meet the woman who has worn Wonderbras exclusively from 1994 to present day. Do women still buy the namebrand Wonderbras?
How did I not know about this plane crash? This is one of the most terrible things I’ve ever read. Here is a documentary about the plane crash, I haven’t watched it yet.
~~~**THE FUTURE~~~**
Here is a more detailed article about perhaps the most uppity woman of 1994, Kathleen Battle. Various internet sources lead me to believe that this was Battle’s final Opera, although she still does recordings today.
Jennifer Capriati stealing the $35 ring might be my favorite “celebrity does something stupid” story.
It’s so interesting to read this, considering how widely accepted anti-depressants are today.
Years ago, my friend gave me her Mystery Science Theater 3000 VHS tapes from 1993/1994, with most of the commercials fully intact. So, so many commercials with the Zima Guy. But yet, I haven’t uploaded a one to my Youtube (s). This is the one that is on my mst3k tapes the most.
In the introduction for this entry, I was going to mention that one of my most vivid memories of 1994 was seeing a dirty, homeless looking Adam Duritz bouncing around an apartment singing Mr. Jones on Vh1 about 25 times a day.
With the exception of the coin operated computers, everything is pretty much the same.
Of course, John Daly is referring to “Drexel’s Class”.
Although, which magazine is still being published today. Hmm?
Related Links:
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Perhaps my choice for the most shocking news story from my childhood happened 18 years ago this week: when Nancy Kerrigan was attacked while training for the 1994 National Figure Skating championships.
I was a pretty half rear-ended Nancy Kerrigan fan. I think the only reason why I migrated to her was because she was US skating’s only hope for the 1994 Olympics after Kristi Yamaguchi retired after winning the Olympics and the World Championship in 1992.
I was way more into Tonya Harding, but she had fallen on hard times since the 1992 Olympics where was was in 4th place. In 1993, her dress became undone during a performance, also in the same year, her blade became wobbily. It was at the point where I didn’t even see her skating on tv at all in 1993.
Also, DEM BANGS:
I thought those bangs were high class growing up. I wanted my bangs to be like Tonya Harding’s.
By 1994, however, Tonya got rid of her bangs:
{btw, doesn’t her hair look like Pam’s in the Office episode “Valentines Day”?}
It always bugged me however, the way she would just half ass pull her back for performances though. Not very classy.
Nancy also had a tough 1993. Remember when she fell on her butt about every 1.5 seconds in the 1993 Worlds Long program? I cried about that for days. Cut me some slack, I was 9. It was so hyped up that she was going to win, I remember even staying up late with mom to watch it that Saturday evening, and it was just over within the first few seconds.
(Total sidenote, in that fluff piece, at 2:21, you see Nancy’s car, which is just a simple Acura Integra. I thought that was a high luxury car when I saw this segment as a 9 year old. I guess not very many people were driving Acura’s in Hampton Virginia in 1993).
I remember where I was when I found out about the attack. I was in my room getting ready to go to baton class, and mom was downstairs watching the news. Back then, I always kept my bedroom door open so naturally, I could always hear the tv. When I was at baton class later that evening, I thought about the chances of someone coming up to me and either stabbing me Monica Seles style, or hitting me with something hard, Nancy Kerrigan style.
A couple of days later, the women’s competition started, and since Nancy could not skate because of the bruised up knee, I remember her sitting in practically the nosebleed section of Cobo Arena watching everybody else skate.
During all this is going on, nobody even notices Michelle Kwan who was 13 years old, skating in an adult competition, who qualified for the Olympics, but due to Nancy getting injured, becoming a write in qualifier, wasn’t able to skate in the Olympics.
Tonya won the Nationals skating to … the music from Jurassic Park. yup.
Before ABC aired her performance, Tonya’s horoscope was shown:
Hmm.
Tonya skated a pretty alright performance, Dick Button and Peggy Fleming seemed surprised, almost belittling Tonya, giving how poorly she’d skated in the past at these sorts of events.
Buttons also gives some belittling to Michelle, showing a clip of “little Michelle” watching Tonya’s performance. “WOW”
You know who the real loser of this competition was?
Clear Choice Mouth Wash. I’ve never heard of the stuff, wasn’t even around long enough to make a real dent in a Google search.
Related Links:
Profile on Tonya’s troubles in 1992
saleintothe90s 