342. Home Improvement “The Longest Day” (April 3, 1996)

At my house, Home Improvement was strictly an Elementary School show for me. Once I got into middle school in 1994, Home Improvement was too babyish for me, well, at least that’s what I thought. 

I made three exceptions, however. One was the episode where Brad told Jill to butt out of his sex life (I bought that up a year in a half ago with my 96 things from 1996), the final episode (they put the house on a barge and moved it?!), and this episode. Where I mistakingly thought Randy had a goiter. Which automatically reminded me of Elaine Benes:

But no, we’re talking about Simba, Randy. Randy was probably my second favorite character since he was such a smart ass.  Al was my favorite. You can’t beat Al, I love Al. 

I met Richard Karn (who played Al) at the dead Newmarket Fair Mall for an autograph session when I was 9 or 10. 

Anyway, Here is the episode on Daily Motion. 

Remember Brad’s bizarre sumo wrestler-esque haircut? That was never in. He also pees in a yogurt cup and brings it to his doctor appointment ‘cuz he can’t pee under pressure. Tim says that when he is at the doctor he needs a salad bowl to pee in, the cups are too big. wow. ok. 

ooo ooo ooh called it. Brad didn’t rinse the yogurt cup before peeing. Randy said it took them forever because the doctor found boysenberry yogurt in Brad’s piss. 

The doctor felt a lump on Randy’s thyroid. It could be malignant or,  Randy would have to take a pill every day for the rest of his life for his thyroid to work correctly. I remember when Jill said “might have to take a pill for the rest of his life” it sounded so scary. Now 20 years later and I take a pill every day for my thyroid! OH. The third possibility could be that he could have a goiter. See! I was right! 

Jill and Tim made the boneheaded decision to not tell Randy what’s going on. Randy’s like, in high school. Instead Tim tries to take him to the arcade, and its totally ok by mom that he skips school. Randy knows something is up after he says:

and nobody laughs. 

Usually neighbor Wilson hides behind a fence, but today we see his shadow. 

This is what he looked like irl, away from the fence: 

Randy is part of the Wilson Wilson origin story! Tim met Wilson through Randy’s colic. We also learn that the Taylors moved into their house when Randy was a baby and Brad was a toddler. I forgot about that.

I always knew that Randy was the smartest Taylor. I mean, he went off to Costa Rica or whatever those last couple of seasons of the show. Turns out, he did some of his own research and called Tim out on not telling him that he could have cancer. Then he went to the arcade instead of coming home from school.

There’s those uncomfortable looking Taylor kids beds again. I mentioned them in the Junk from Tim Taylor’s house entry a long time back. What is all that av equipment embedded into the walls? Car stereos? 

Where is Mark, the youngest kid? He’s only had one line the entire episode and it was like 1 minute into the episode. He asked why they were going to the doctor.

The doctor calls and turns out Randy just has to take a pill every day. Like me! 

You know what came on after this? THE DIET MUG ROOT BEER DANA CARVEY SHOW. 

I only know this from this clip from the documentary Too Funny To Fail about ABC putting the Dana Carvey Show in such a horrible time slot. 

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180. Junk from Tim Taylor’s house

Do you ever make a silly list in a notebook because you can’t sleep or you need to get your mind off of something else? Back in December, I made a silly list of “junk I remember from the house on Home Improvement”. That show was a staple in my elementary school evenings along with Simpsons, Murphy Brown, Empty Nest, Nurses, Ren & Stimpy, and Grace Under Fire. I even met Richard Karn at the dead mall in my home town the day after the last day of fourth grade. Al was most definitely my favorite character, Jill and Brad were my least favorite. Whenever they were on, I just focused on the background of the Taylor household. Some things are still in my memory after all these years, things I almost know as well as things in my own home (which 80% of is still in storage after 10 years). 

These are all from my original list. I got the screen grabs from this supercut of every single grunt Tim did on the show–its 15 minutes. 

The “Winter Sale” poster next to the kitchen phone. Winter Sale where? 

The steering wheel from an Indy race car (didn’t Tim get in trouble for buying that instead of Something for Jill?).

The light up washing machine laundry detergent dispenser that had its own storyline. 

Those weird platform beds Brad and Randy (and later Randy and Mark) had in their room. The mattresses were like | | <– this thick. No blankets. Did Tim build those?! 

Jill’s automatic pink closet that was only in the house that one episode? (clip here)

Tim’s suit bag. ‘Like he’s all important. Tim, you are on public access.  

Bonus from the Tool Time set. What was this green and black thing on the wall? Growing up I thought it was the most extensive set of hex wrenches ever. 

Bonus II: Tim Taylor + Ginuwine’s “Pony” = PONY TIME.