oprah – saleintothe90s

(February and March, 1999)

April 28, 1999

“John-John rollerblades* into yet another cushy gig!” – JFK Jr. might be working on a talk show similar in fashion to his magazine, George. “Like the publication, the talk show should be a huge hit with people who have already watched everything else at the dentist’s office. When starting George, Kennedy said since his dad was in politics, and his mom was in publishing, he was ideally suited to be a political publisher. The same formula for cross-breeding also makes him a horny socialite.” It’s perfect for the syndication arm of USA Networks, who produces Jerry Springer and Sally Jessy Raphel’s shows – as long as Uncle Teddy “comes on every day, drunk and ready for lovin’!”

* JFK Jr. was known for rollerblading around NYC in the mid 90s, and wearing a dumb hat. I mentioned it years ago.

(see also: No Peking)

Field piece: “XXX-PO ‘99″ – “Here at The Daily Show, we pride ourselves with our comprehensive coverage of world events. But, since our NATO Summit press passes were misfiled, we sent Beth Littleford and Mo Rocca to report from the Erotica-Con.”

“I’m here with Sharon … and her implants…” Mo asks Sharon a really stupid ass question, like “if you needed to clean your contact lens, you could puncture these?” Sharon gets fed up and goes “….what show is this for?”

This can’t possibly be Ron Jeremy’s first appearance on TDS. I feel like he showed up at least once in a field piece during the Kilborn years.

“My Day with Billy” – Jon pretends that Billy Joel came by the TDS offices after hearing about how much Jon ribbed him earlier in the month. For a split second, I believed this during Jon’s lead up until I saw those doctored pictures! I had gotten the 30 minute long Billy Crystal interview special Jon did early on during his tenure, and this bit confused.

“coming up, another ridiculous story about that Tyra Banks … oh Tyra…”

THIS JUST IN – FRUIT BATS – Warner Brothers had plans to produce a Batman musical. “the show is planned to premiere in 2001, making New Yorkers eager to anticipate the destruction of Y2K.”

Shocking, the musical name came to fruition.

OTHER NEWS – SWAMP MEET – “Florida heat wave causes gators to attack humans, just in time for FOX May sweeps.”

“Zoologists fear that the gators will drag small children into lagoons and eat them, thus upsetting the delicate ecosystem of the Florida pedophile.”

(audience groans laughs and claps)

“…you’ve been there.”

Back in Black – Lewis Black is mad that this squirrel who rides on jet skis is living a better life than him.

“Tune in tomorrow when we’ll ind out … Keaton, Kilmer … Clooney … Stewart? Nah, too many nipples.”

5/18/1999

Someone in the audience gave Jon some Backstreet Boys trading cards!

Headlines: Guernicut – A crazed man cuts a Picasso painting, Women Nude Before Garden. “Instantly creating two lesser works, “Garden” and “Women Nude”.

“Same *hit, different day” – the Fall season has been revealed for the big five, six and a half networks. Dramedies and West Wing will premiere in the fall.

Oof, the West Wing craze will be brewing at this soon. Did’ja ever notice when people would obsess over West Wing back in the day, it would sound like they were saying, “Wet’ Wing”? I feel like my government teacher, who played favorites, Mrs. Garrity would say it like that.

Jon has some ideas for his Fall TV schedule.

Star Wars: the obligatory coverage – Meanwhile, in movieland, Vance DeGeneres has been in line with Star Wars fans who are waiting for The Phantom Menace, which comes out the next day. Vance didn’t bring enough food so he traded his suit for some Fresca. Boy, that’s pee.

This Just in: the Wonder Fears – Kids are more afraid of snakes, sharks, and thunderstorms than things that go bump in the night. Well, duh.

Other News: Blubber Soul – Macaw Native Americans go back to tradition and kill a juvenile whale, they knew it was juvenile because it laughed at its own blowhole.

Back in Black: Oprah – Our boy Lewis was on Oprah looking cute. The Netherlands flipped out over winning a hubcap in a soccer match. Jon commented that Oprah was all over him. ❤

—

ooh, I wanted to share something several TDS related items.

I was at Barnes & Noble last weekend (last weekend of May 2019), and saw that the Daily Show Oral History Book is now on clearance.

I might be heading via train to the Newseum in DC later on in June to see Jon’s last desk on display there. They’re shutting down shop at the end of the year so make it up there if you can.

The Daily Show Weekly podcast brought up two specials I sent them from ‘99: The Daily View and Summer Spectacular.

(part 8)

71. Koosh Balls

72. USA Today tries a TV Show (9/12)

It only lasted until January of 1990. Wow did they waste a lot of money on it:

Bureaus for the daily half-hour satellite show (there will also be a one- hour weekend edition) are being set up in Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Washington, D.C., London (where British politician/fiction writer Jeffrey Archer has just been signed as correspondent), and in Roslyn, Va., where USA Today (the newspaper) is headquartered.

It`s costing plenty.

“We`re budgeting $100 million for three years,” said Steve Friedman. “You might as well do it right or not at all.” 1

Wasted 40 million for a show that aired in the middle of the night in some markets:

The magazine-format program, originally titled “USA Today: The Television Show,” debuted in September, 1988, on 156 stations, many of them running it in the coveted slot just before prime time. But now, the number of stations has dwindled to 84, with many airing the 30-minute show during hours only insomniacs could appreciate. 2

I found one episode from June 28, 1988.

73. Dale Earnhardt becomes the Intimidator with his black, red and grey #3 car

Before 1988, he drove a blue and yellow #15 Wrangler car.

[I love that apparently there is Dale glitch art gifs on Tumblr]

74. The “Geraldo Fight” (11/3)

This is the only thing I remember about Geraldo’s talk show from the late 80s and early 90s, and seeing the footage always scared me, because to five year old me it was like, “oh no, the man from the TV is hurt.”

Geraldo Rivera’s nose was broken and his face cut during a skirmish yesterday midway through the taping of a program entitled “Teen Hatemongers” on his television talk show.

The violence broke out after John Metzger, a 20-year-old guest representing the White Aryan Resistance Youth, insulted a black guest, Roy Innis, calling him an “Uncle Tom.”

“I’m sick and tired of Uncle Tom here, sucking up and trying to be a white man,” Mr. Metzger said of Mr. Innis, the national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality. Mr. Innis stood up and began choking the white youth and Mr. Rivera and audience members joined the scuffle, hurling chairs, throwing punches and shouting epithets. 3

The Beastie Boys even referenced it in the song “What Comes Around.”

**75. B.D. Wong raps about Driving School in Crash Course (made for TV movie)**

I only just learned about this clip from the ThirtyTwentyTen Podcast. I just know for a fact that the lyrics are laughably lame:

“…going to Michigan state to be a football player, we can hardly wait! Make us proud Dr. J.J., we will watch you on TV scoring touchdowns on Saturday, or saying ‘to be or not to be’!”

(and yes that is Mac from Night Court, Charles Robinson!)

( Newsweek, December 26, 1988)

76. Massive 6.8 Earthquake hits Armenia (12/7).

It is unknown how many people died in the quake, some estimates are around 25,000+ people.

77. Governor Bill Clinton speaks at the Democratic National Convention

Bill was just supposed to speak for 15 minutes and endorse candidate Michael Dukakis. He spoke for 33 minutes! People booed! People cheered when he said “in conclusion”!

78. Duncan Hines Tiara Cakes

A dessert you had to buy a special pan for just to make it. Once they were discontinued, what were you gonna do with that shallow fluted pan?

79. Oprah’s Lil’ Red Wagon of Fat

Oprah regrets it now, but back in 1988 she lost a sloo of weight by starving herself for four months. So on her show she wheeled out 68 pounds of animal fat in a wagon.

80. These amazing carousel stamps

81. Holidays at the World Trade Center

82. The troubled Forest Fair Mall opens in Fairfield, Ohio (7/11)

[this is what the movie theater looked like a year after opening, source]

(Shopping Mall Museum)

As some know, I was the assistant editor at deadmalls.com for years. So I tried my best to find a dead mall that opened 30 years ago–and boy did I find one, one of the most amazing lookin’ ones. (Here’s my ex friends at deadmalls walkin’ though it in 2017)

But yes, this dead mall has flying pigs as decorations! They look like they were added sometime in the late 90s/early 00s? This mall was struggling just two years into operation, and was under redevelopment in 1992. The history of the mall was like, down, up, down, DOWN, nearly abandoned. The Wikipedia is actually pretty good.

83. Michael Dukakis and his tank (9/13)

Okay, so it wasn’t HIS tank, he was just there for a photo op during the presidential election. Boy looked redic!

I’m going to let Josh King, the author of Off Script:

An Advance Man’s Guide to White House Stagecraft, Campaign Spectacle, and Political Suicide handle the summary for this, because it’s great:

(more info from Josh here)

84. Chevy Chase hosts the Oscars (4/11)

…and it was his second time hosting! I know.

85. “Let the River Run” from Working Girl

Wow, lots to unpack here with this music video.

The Reebok Freestyle Hi-tops with the big white scrunchy socks! I’m so mad that these shoes don’t come in wide width. They’re soo narrow.

This. outfit. I want it. I tried to find a similar one to wear this holiday season but came up with zilch. Couldn’t find a white skirt on time, or a blouse like that.

Nora Dunn looks 20 years older than she was in this movie. Joan Cusack’s hair is my dream big 80s hair.

Melanie Griffith clearly does not want to be there.

The women in the office after the “bony ass” scene.

86. Santa’s Car

Who knew that Santa drove a hatch and lived in Maine.

87. Max Robinson Dies (12/20)

Robinson was the first African American to anchor network news in the United States. He shared hosting duties on the ABC Nighty News with Peter Jennings and Frank Reynolds in the early 1980s. Sadly alcoholism derailed his career, and he passed away from AIDS.

88. 35 Students from Syracuse University die on Pan Am Flight 103

(news coverage 1 , 2)

To this day, Syracuse University has an extensive collection and memorial dedicated to these students. There is also a heartbreaking .pdf titled “On Eagles Wings” that profiles every passenger and Lockerbie resident who died that night.

1. Beck, Marylin, “USA TODAY SET TO MAKE TV NEWS,” Chicago Tribune, une 25, 1988. https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1988-06-25-8801100627-story.html

2. Kaye, Jeff, “Why There’s No Tomorrow for ‘USA Today’ : Television: The cancellation marks another setback for GTG Entertainment, which had three programs dropped last year,” Los Angeles Times, November 24, 1989. http://articles.latimes.com/1989-11-24/entertainment/ca-215_1_usa-today

4. “Geraldo Rivera’s Nose Broken In Scuffle on His Talk Show,” New York Times, November 4, 1988. https://www.nytimes.com/1988/11/04/nyregion/geraldo-rivera-s-nose-broken-in-scuffle-on-his-talk-show.html

Tag: oprah

381. It Came From the Daily Show: one episode from April 1999, and one from May, 1999