June 2017 – saleintothe90s

311. Salsa

Lots of foods exploded onto the scene in the 1980s and 1990s, but Salsa is in a category all to itself. Salsa wasn’t just an explosion, it was an earthquake. Ok, I’ll stop.

Salsa became the number one condiment in the United States in 1991, beating out ketchup:

Dave Pace, who in 1947 bottled and sold the first commercial salsa in the United States, is amused by the ethnic explosion.

“In ‘47, my sauce bottles exploded all over the grocery shelves because I couldn’t get the darned formula right,” said the 78-year-old Mr. Pace, who retired last year from Pace Foods Inc. in San Antonio, where he still lives. “In the 70’s, the business exploded when the hippies came along. No question but this health stuff made the whole category explode, and it just tickles me to see these people take the ball and run with it." 1

I think Pace’s NEW YORK CITY?!?! commercials helped drive Pace’s sales up too. For those who don’t remember, the commercials would be these cowboys in the desert, eating dinner. They would always run out of Pace Picante Sauce, and of course, someone would offer them their salsa made in (get this!) New York City instead of out west. Noo Yorkers apparently don’t know what salsa should take like.

Also, to a much, much lesser extent, those Chris Elliott Tostios commercials.

Heinz, the Ketchup empire, tried to compete with Salsa-Style Ketchup, but it failed:

Well, do we ever stand corrected – not to mention relieved. From time to time we’ve noted that, these days, salsa outsells ketchup in the United States. And that’s what we keep reading in the food-industry periodicals. But, chatting with a representative of Heinz USA the other day, we learned that ketchup is, in fact, holding its own. Yes, salsa is a bigger seller in dollar amounts (after all, salsas tend to be "fancy” products that sell at fancier prices than plain ol’ ketchup). But ounce for ounce, ketchup still outsells the chunky stuff – 10 billion ounces of ketchup consumed a year against 4 billion ounces of salsa. Whew. We feel all-American again. Of course, Heinz was calling to tell us about its new product – Salsa Style Ketchup. Oh, well. 3

Salsa even became a vegetable in kids’ lunches in 1998: 2

What made me think of Salsa exploding in the 90s, was the first season episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Frank is on his own because him and Marie got in a fight. One of the things he does is buy his own groceries for the first time. He falls in love with the salsa handed out by the sample lady:

Frank: I went to the supermarket.

Raymond: Yeah.

F: I want you to taste this great new thing they have now.

It’s called salsa.

R: I’ve had salsa, Dad.

F: I bet you never put it on a chip.

R: Yeah, even on a chip.

I know.

It’s good.

F: Good? It’s genius.

And the woman in the supermarket was giving it away.

No charge.

R: That’s called a sample, Dad.

I must have had 50 of them.

No, this woman, she was great.

R: She had on a big sombrero, she was sitting on a plastic burro.

I’ll take you to see her.

[…]

Frank: Are you ready for the surprise?

Deborah: I’m starved.

F: Okay.Here it is.A dinner of eggs. But not just any eggs. Eggs with salsa on them. They’re called huevos rancheros. This dish is gonna sweep the nation. Yes, sir. Fill your face. I made mucho.

Deborah: Thank you.That’s really sweet of you,

Frank.I can be sweet.It takes people time to discover that.

Deborah dancing around with chips and salsa was the hottest scene in the series.

One recipe Frank didn’t “create” was Velveeta + Salsa, which was popularized by commercials in the mid 90s.

1. O’Neill, Molly, “New Mainstream: Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Salsa”, New York Times, March 11, 1992. http://www.nytimes.com/1992/03/11/garden/new-mainstream-hot-dogs-apple-pie-and-salsa.html.

2. “Hot News! Salsa is a Vegetable”, Tuscaloosa News, July 1, 1998. https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1817&dat=19980701&id=Vz0dAAAAIBAJ&sjid=RqYEAAAAIBAJ&pg=3029,8428&hl=en

3. “On the Fridge”, Washington Post, September 22, 1993. https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/food/1993/09/22/on-the-fridge/d76feacd-fe5e-451d-aa1f-9e4bcf3d1bff/?utm_term=.b529c2b0c54a

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1997/05/the-salsa-sectors/376871/

310. It came from The Daily Show: “Children of the Horn” (6/21/1999)

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/vlx0t3/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-other-news—children-of-the-horn

“Horror writer Stephen King was hit this weekend near is home in Maine when he was hit from behind by a Dodge Caravan … a Dodge Caravan of lost sooullls.”

“…the film of the police report is virtually unwatchable…”

“Here’s the weird part … we, we at the Daily Show has recieved some of his get well cards. We don’t have to explain it … isn’t that what Stephen King is all about?

“This is one of those damn musical cards…”

“’I hope you feel better beary soon’. Sarah, age 7.”

–

The man who hit Stephen, Bryan Smith died the following year. A year after the accident, King wrote about Smith in the New Yorker:

There’s another short break in my memory here, and then I am very carefully wiping palmfuls of blood out of my eyes with my left hand. When I can see clearly, I look around and notice a man sitting on a nearby rock. He has a cane resting in his lap. This is Bryan Smith, the forty-two-year-old man who hit me. Smith has got quite the driving record; he has racked up nearly a dozen vehicle-related offenses. He wasn’t watching the road at the moment that our lives collided because his Rottweiler had jumped from the very rear of his van onto the back seat, where there was an Igloo cooler with some meat stored in it. The Rottweiler’s name was Bullet. (Smith had another Rottweiler at home; that one was named Pistol.) Bullet started to nose at the lid of the cooler. Smith turned around and tried to push him away. He was still looking at Bullet and pushing his head away from the cooler when he came over the top of the knoll, still looking and pushing when he struck me. Smith told friends later that he thought he’d hit “a small deer” until he noticed my bloody spectacles lying on the front seat of his van. They were knocked from my face when I tried to get out of Smith’s way. The frames were bent and twisted, but the lenses were unbroken. They are the lenses I’m wearing now, as I write.

[…]

He and Bullet had left the campground where they were staying, he later tells an investigator, because he wanted “some of those Marzes bars they have up to the store.” When I hear this detail some weeks later, it occurs to me that I have nearly been killed by a character out of one of my own novels. It’s almost funny.

Help is on the way, I think, and that’s probably good, because I’ve been in a hell of an accident. I’m lying in the ditch and there’s blood all over my face and my right leg hurts. I look down and see something I don’t like: my lap appears to be on sideways, as if my whole lower body had been wrenched half a turn to the right. I look back up at the man with the cane and say, “Please tell me it’s just dislocated.”“Nah,” he says. Like his face, his voice is cheery, only mildly interested. He could be watching all this on TV while he noshes on one of those Marzes bars. “It’s broken in five, I’d say, maybe six places.”

211. It came from The Daily Show: Indian Bummer (3/10/1999)

210. The Daily Show: The Greatest Millennium (12/15/1999).

174. Early Jon Stewart Daily Show magazine ads (1998)

309. “Every dad’s dream” (Roses sales paper, 6/12/1994)

244. Big List of my favorite commercials, part 4

(part 3)

I have a routine now. For my birthday and Christmas, I post an entry of my all time favorite commercials, and its sure as heck not Christmas. So you know what that means. I’m old.

Coors Christmas (1983)

Don’t you want that box?!

Burger King Steak Sandwich (1991) (my upload)

Who gives their girl jewelry at BK?

Gillian Anderson for Hardees (1990)

Who talks sexy on the phone, then meets up for a date in front of Roy Rogers (which is turning into Hardees)? O my god, she’s a hooker.

About 45 minutes into this ep of the Purple Stuff Podcast, they bring up this commercial.

Sealtest ice cream bars (3:41) (1986)

Haaands on Ice Cream! HANDS ON ICE CREAM!

Alf BK invasion (1988)

I had the “Melmac Rock” Alf with the Hawaiian shirt.

1987 ABC Promo Sidekicks Sledgehammer Ohara Spenser For Hire

(I re-uploaded this one, I liked it so much I saved it several years ago)

I love the stars of short lived shows, Sidekicks, Sledge Hammer!, and Ohara dancing to Gloria Estefan’s “Bad Boys”. Spenser for Hire is there too! Spen-sah!

Bless Pat Morita.

Mr. Ray’s hair weave (mid 1980s)

Taco Bell “Shaq Neck” (1997?)

1993 MTV movie awards (my upload)

Danger in black tie, too hot to handle, it’s the MTV Movie AWWWWWWAARRRRRRDDDSS … shown tooo many times in my mst3k tape collection.

ABC America’s Comedy Team [the critic] (1994)

This was a promo for the episode of The Critic where Margo goes to the debutante ball, and Jay hooks up with the Barney the Dinosaur knockoff. I read a blog entry recently that apparently nobody, nobody watched this episode when it originally aired because it was up against the Olympics, and the short program night of Tonya vs Nancy.

Rap Musk

‘know what I’m sprayyyyin’?

I was mentioned very, very, very briefly on Lasertime a few weeks back because I suggested this commercial for the episode about lame TV raps. I got too excited when Henry said my name. Way too excited.

Richard Moll 1983 Jack In The Box Nachos Commercial

Speaking of way too excited, you don’t know how excited I got when I found this commercial. Those nachos look really lame, however.

Star Wars Wampa

I’m pretty sure in Empire, the wampa that got Luke didn’t go around yelling his own name. Wampa! Wampaaa!

McDonalds All American Meal (1992? 1993?)

(my upload @ 57:15)

Aw, Rondell Sheridan is in this commercial that takes place in a typical early 1990s women’s talk show. What do those men want? They want burgers! Super size!

Can we talk about Rondell’s Wikipedia photo though?

1990 Oldsmobile Toronado Troféo TV Commercial

These Oldsmobile commercials with the kids of famous people were always awkward, but I love this one because its for a car nobody remembers.

Dinosaurs and The Critic Commercial 1994

My two favorite shows from the 5th grade together.

Finally.

Taco Bell Rock Music Cups

I do not understand the purpose of these cups. Why were fast food places always wanting us to keep the cup back then? That doesn’t fly in 2017.

AM PM Mini Market 2 Hot Dogs For 89 Cents Commercial (1985)

Doesn’t the song remind anyone else of Flea Market Montgomery?? aka my favorite meme of 2008.

1994 Long John Silvers The Little Rascals Commercial

Didn’t this movie only make like, $3 in the box office? There’s only one of you, sweetie poo. I’ll hold, you scratch.

Thrift Drug (1990)

1. Why is he thinking about Massengil Douche on sale at Thrift during his vacation? 2. It looks like he made those thrift drug hamburgers out of the remains of his family. Perv.

{{ special }} My Christmas Christmas video playlist

233. Tap Lights Commercial (1999)

19. Stephen Colbert in a commercial for FirsTier Bank in Nebraska (mid 1990s).

195. B.B. King in a Wendy’s Commercial (1995)

244. The big list of favorite commercials – part 3

244. The big list of favorite commercials – part 2

261. The Day After (November 20, 1983) part 3

244. The big list of favorite commercials

209. at&t “You Will” ads (1993-1994)

268. “Mr. Cooper” and the Golden State Warriors

saleintothe90s:

HEY YO WHERE’S MY THEME MUSIC?

I know they lost the championship, but every time I see the Golden State Warriors on TV, I always think of Hangin With Mr. Cooper, the ABC show that ran from 1992 to 1997 with comedian Mark Curry. That was the first time I had ever heard of the team, and I thought it was a fictional team written for the TV show. If I remember my “Mr. Cooper” history correctly, Mark was a former fictional player for the Warriors who was dropped from the team and became a teacher.

Remember when he would do his standup act at the beginning of the show for the studio audience?

Mark put his Mr. Cooper jersey back on in 2015 for “90s night” at the stadium.

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2017 repost

308. Simpsons Season 10 (8/23/1998 – 5/23/1999)

For years now, there has been almost a consensus that season 10 is the worst season of Simpsons, the season where quality began to dip.

Pre internet, I thought since I was a sophomore in high school, that I was losing my taste for Simpsons, like I was with nearly everything else. High school was depressing. I thought that was to blame for my Simpsons interest waining in high school.

Once I read the list of episodes that season though, I count eight out of 23 personal clunkers. That’s not as bad as I remember.

I began watching Simpsons religiously every Sunday again in 2005. The quality is amazing compared to thee late 90s and early 00s episodes.

How to I judge these episodes? What do I use to denote an episode I didn’t like. I want to use D.M.Y. so much because I love that scene in the season opener, Lard of the Dance. That wouldn’t make sense though!

I got it. Homemade Pepsi for bad episodes. Because that was gross, Marge.

S10E.1 Lard of the Dance, 8/23/98

One of my all time favorite episodes. I love episodes that take place in the school. Lisa just wants to giggle in church and smell bad for a couple more years.

S10E.2 Wizard of Evergreen Terrace, 9/20/98

This is one of the earlier dumb dumb Homer episodes. The only part of this episode I really like is when Homer is at the Edison museum. He realizes that like him, Edison was trying to catch up with an inventor, Michelangelo. It could’ve ended there. But noo, Homer had to accidentally leave his battery operated hammer on Edison’s desk.

S.10E.3 Bart the Mother, 9/27/98

I love this one too! Bart is so caring to those little birdlizards. Also, a touching tribute to Phil Hartman. OH. And we finally get to see what really goes on at Nelson’s house.

S.10E.4 Treehouse of Horror 9, 10/25/98

I’m giving Homemade Pepsi’s to the first segment where Homer gets a hair transplant from Snake, and the last segment which is a very dated Jerry Springer segment. The second segment with the kids being sucked into the TV (they land on Regis & Kathie Lee!) is watchable.

S.10E5 When You Dish Upon a Star, 11/8/98

This is the ultimate Homemade Pepsi episode. This episode was created just to use celebrity voices.

S.10E6 Doh-ing in the Wind, 11/15/98

This is another one of my favorites. I love Homer finding out that the J. of his middle name is Jay, and the use of “Uptown Girl” as “freak out” music.

S.10E7 Lisa gets an “A”, 11/22/98

Another favorite “school” episode of mine.

S.10E8 Homer Simpson in “Kidney Trouble”, 12/6/98

This episode was going so well until Homer was shipped off to the island of misfit toys or whatever. I love the ghost town tourist trap scenes in the beginning of the episode, and Grandpa’s kidneys bursting.

S.10E9 Mayored to the Mob, 12/20/98

When I was younger, and not into Star Wars, I would’ve given this a homemade Pepsi, but through the years this episode has grown on me. Bodyguard.

S.10E.10 Viva Ned Flanders, 1/10/99

The beginning where it’s revealed that Flanders is old makes up for the silly Vegas wives story at the end.

S.10E.11 Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken, 1/17/99

I love the pirate radio!

Constable Wiggum likes to act tough but he also likes to walk the beat in control-top panty hose.

S.10E.12 Sunday, Cruddy, Sunday, 1/31/99

This is one of my all time least favorite episodes along with that Florida/Spring Break one that would air a year later. Homer’s gullibility, the guys running around to Blur’s “Song 2″, Lisa and Marge making some Vincent Price Mr. Potato head kit, its half-assed writing.

S.10E.13 Homer to the Max, 2/7/99

Max Power!
He’s the man,
Whose name you’d love to touch!
But you mustn’t touch.
His name sounds good in your ear,
but when you say it, you mustn’t fear!
Cuz his name can be said by anyone!

S.10E.14 I’m With Cupid, 2/14/99

This is like, the one episode I’ve only seen once, the night it aired. I don’t know I’ve managed that. I only remember the Elton John scene felt out of place. That’s why I put it as the top image in this entry.

S.10E.15 Marge Simpson in “screaming yellow honkers”, 2/21/99

When I read the title for this episode, I always confuse it for the episode where Marge gets big boobs. No, this is at the time, the timely S.U.V. episode, back when an S.U.V. rolled over if you sneezed while driving.

You don’t see many men driving the “F” Series.

S.10E.16 Make Room for Lisa, 2/28/99

Those sensory deprivation tanks that Homer and Lisa lay in (and Homer takes a ride in) scared me so much back in the day!

Marge also knocks out Milhouse at the end which is great.

S.10E.17 Maximum Homerdrive, 3/28/99

This episode started out great, but then turned sour after the steak eating contest scene. It reminded me of the Super Bowl episode from earlier in the season, where Bart and Homer go off, and Marge, Lisa, and Maggie have to stay at home, and worry about a doorbell.

S.10E.18 Simpsons Bible Stories, 4/4/99

This is one that FXX shows all the time, and I’m completely ok with it.

S.10E.19 Mom and Pop Art, 4/11/99

I like the scene where all the snooty art people think Homer’s next piece of art after the Le Grille is repetitive.

S.10E.20 The old man and the “C” student, 4/25/99

This is one of my favorites, don’t forget Selma & Patty’s Ciggy mascot.

S.10E.21 Monty Can’t Buy Me Love, 5/2/99

It’s so stupid, I like everything in this episode, except for the whole going to Scotland part. Reminds me of that later episode where Burns has the trillion dollar bill? I like Nessie working at the casino at the end…but not at Mr. Burns’ Casino because that was torn down earlier in the season.

S.10E.22 They Saved Lisa’s Brain, 5/9/99

Comic Book Guy is at peak obnoxiousness here.

S.10E.23 Thirty Minutes over Tokyo, 5/16/99

Don’t watch any cartoons while in Japan.

307. The First Issue of Sassy Magazine, March 1988 (part 4, final part)

(part 3)

Ha, I had the X-Files pilot on in the background, and right when I uploaded this, the scene where Mulder sees Scully in her granny panties:

I thought she looked better before. After makes her hair look unstyled with those giant sections.

There’s those braclets again. One says “sun” and the other says “taxi”?

This powder container seems awfully impractical in its hourglass container and tiny brush.

Those pencil shaped drink containers are awesome. Those long shorts are not.

I think I wanted a body glove swimsuit when I was little. I saw that Urban Outfitters were selling them again, but at luxury prices. Those bracelets up top hold sunscreen? Such a tiny amount of sunscreen!

Here’s another brand similar to ~~Troop~~ Camp Beverly Hills.

Sassy was the first teen magazine to run an ad for condoms.

Finally, more Cherry Lane clothing. Suspender garter things on shorts while wearing baggy white leggings.

307. The first issue of Sassy magazine, March, 1988 (Part 3)

(part 2)

Remember when RDJ was on Ally McBeal near the end? I was like, “he’s gonna screw this up”, and sure enough, he got in trouble with the drugs. It seems like he’s ok now though.

Five bandanas!

This style reminds me of something Seventeen would’ve suggested for Summer hair in the Summer of 1997.

Un-rinsed conditioner and a yard of ribbon.

This was an article about how the author felt out of place being a beauty pageant contestant. I only post this because she mentioned “fishing tackle boxes full of cosmetics”, and …