December 2017 – saleintothe90s

336. “New Year’s Eve is Big Movie Night” (12/31/1994 Lakeland Ledger)

I know this lonely girl will be watching some media on New Year’s Eve.

335. “Hair for the Holidays” (Milwaukee Sentinel, December 9, 1994)

(source)

When I saw this headline, all I could think about was:

Season two Homer would have liked some hair for the holidays.

Wasn’t there like, a parody of one of those Hair Club for Men commercials where a guy who got hair again said something like, “and now the chicks are back!” Or was that a real hair club for men commercial?!

244. Big List of Favorite Commercials

Every previous big list of favorite commercials Every year, I post a new lit of my favorite commercials at Christmas and my birthday. Ovbi:

Chevy Venture (1998, Canada)

cuz the baby dachshund in the commercial looks like my baby dachshund, Maggie, who turns 11 this month.

Motts Applesauce (1988)

This commercial with this ~~drug~~ Motts dealer, was featured prominently in an episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast where the host made a list of their favorite things from 1988. This was one of The Sexy Armpit’s favorite things, this bizarre commercial where this gangster kid calls up this nerd and barters applesauce. Applesauce > a magic bunny and a skateboard.

Kraft Parmesan with Allyce Beasley (1990)

One day I’ll write about this later, but when I was little, I was briefly obsessed with Moonlighting, because my mom always watched it before my bedtime. I like, thought that Maddie, David, and Agnes DiPesto (Allyce Beasley) the secretary were my imaginary friends. So I was real jazzed to see her in a commercial for green can cheese when I was six.

Stove Top in the Canister

She also did a very meta commercial for Stove Top in the Canister! She’s gonna make Stove Top for Mr. Addison and all those Blue Moon employees that never did anything. How could David afford to pay them?

Korbel (1993)

Growing up I thought the lady in this ad was Julia Louis-Dreyfus, but I don’t think it is now that I look. I think she’s just a mere impersonator. I couldn’t find an article about the commercial or any proof online.

College Inn Chicken Broth (1989?)

1. What an odd name for a broth company.

2. Dandelion soup is apparently a thing. I thought dandelions were weeds in your backyard.

3. She says she sits back and watches the raccoons drool by the window. Girl, raccoons eat garbage. They want your garbage soup.

1997 Campbells with Tara Lipinski, Michelle Kwan, and Nicole Bobek

1995 National Figure Skating champion Nicole Bobek looks so out of place with teenagers Tara and Michelle. I always felt like Michelle and Tara never got along either.

1996 Kodak Fun Saver with Dominque Dawes

When you think about it, this commercials must have cost a fortune to make. Putting that old people makeup on those gymnasts.

1995 American Express with Jerry Seinfeld lost at Sea

1981 American Greetings

This commercial makes me so sad! Thinking about someone who was forgotten at Christmas, but then she finally gets a card, and it has ZIGGY! on it.

1993 RCA With Patrick Stewart Voiceover

I just love the way he says “Nipper and Chipper!”. Like that time he said “Salt n’ Pepa!” on SNL. Bless that man.

244. Big List of Favorite Commercials

Every previous big list of favorite commercials Every year, I post a new lit of my favorite commercials at Christmas and my birthday. Ovbi:

Chevy Venture (1998, Canada)

cuz the baby dachshund in the commercial looks like my baby dachshund, Maggie, who turns 11 this month.

Motts Applesauce (1988)

Kraft Parmesan with Allyce Beasley (1990)

Stove Top in the Canister

Korbel (1993)

College Inn Chicken Broth (1989?)

1. What an odd name for a broth company.

2. Dandelion soup is apparently a thing. I thought dandelions were weeds in your backyard.

3. She says she sits back and watches the raccoons drool by the window. Girl, raccoons eat garbage. They want your garbage soup.

1997 Campbells with Tara Lipinski, Michelle Kwan, and Nicole Bobek

1995 National Figure Skating champion Nicole Bobek looks so out of place with teenagers Tara and Michelle. I always felt like Michelle and Tara never got along either.

1996 Kodak Fun Saver with Dominque Dawes

When you think about it, this commercials must have cost a fortune to make. Putting that old people makeup on those gymnasts.

1995 American Express with Jerry Seinfeld lost at Sea

1981 American Greetings

This commercial makes me so sad! Thinking about someone who was forgotten at Christmas, but then she finally gets a card, and it has ZIGGY! on it.

1993 RCA With Patrick Stewart Voiceover

I just love the way he says “Nipper and Chipper!”. Like that time he said “Salt n’ Pepa!” on SNL. Bless that man.

244. Big List of Favorite Commercials

Every previous big list of favorite commercials Every year, I post a new lit of my favorite commercials at Christmas and my birthday. Ovbi:

Chevy Venture (1998, Canada)

cuz the baby dachshund in the commercial looks like my baby dachshund, Maggie, who turns 11 this month.

Motts Applesauce (1988)

Kraft Parmesan with Allyce Beasley (1990)

Stove Top in the Canister

Korbel (1993)

College Inn Chicken Broth (1989?)

1. What an odd name for a broth company.

2. Dandelion soup is apparently a thing. I thought dandelions were weeds in your backyard.

3. She says she sits back and watches the raccoons drool by the window. Girl, raccoons eat garbage. They want your garbage soup.

1997 Campbells with Tara Lipinski, Michelle Kwan, and Nicole Bobek

1995 National Figure Skating champion Nicole Bobek looks so out of place with teenagers Tara and Michelle. I always felt like Michelle and Tara never got along either.

1996 Kodak Fun Saver with Dominque Dawes

When you think about it, this commercials must have cost a fortune to make. Putting that old people makeup on those gymnasts.

1995 American Express with Jerry Seinfeld lost at Sea

1981 American Greetings

This commercial makes me so sad! Thinking about someone who was forgotten at Christmas, but then she finally gets a card, and it has ZIGGY! on it.

1993 RCA With Patrick Stewart Voiceover

I just love the way he says “Nipper and Chipper!”. Like that time he said “Salt n’ Pepa!” on SNL. Bless that man.

334. Chris Farley Poopin’ off the side of Rockefeller Center

…the nino!

Chris Farley died 20 years ago, and one of my favorite stories about him came from the 2004 Jay Mohr book Gasping for Airtime: Two Years in the Trenches of Saturday Night Live. Warning, it involves poop:

(I wanted to find a .gif of Beavis saying “poop!” but I couldn’t find one 😦 )

(Attel is Dave Attell)

334. Chris Farley Poopin’ off the side of Rockefeller Center

…the nino!

(I wanted to find a .gif of Beavis saying “poop!” but I couldn’t find one 😦 )

(Attel is Dave Attell)

333. Frasier: Miracle on Third or Fourth Street (1993)

Frasier: Miracle on Third or Fourth Street (1993)

Since its Frasier’s first year at KACL, he has to drive the office lush home, Bonnie. Apparently, Bonnie likes to have her way with men after a couple of drinks.

(why does Bonnie remind me of Susan Strong of Adventure Time?)

Roz gives Frasier this elegant suitcase, and he gives her a gag gift of a microphone that squirts. He didn’t even spring for that microphone from Simpsons that Homer gives bart for his birthday:

…which is funny because it looks exactly like it!

I miss it when Eddie would steal the show on Frasier those first couple of seasons. Also, Niles’ super cleanliness.

Niles Crane is the only person alive who can pull off this scene without looking like a horny ol hound dog. You see, he asked Daphne to try on some dresses he bought for his wife Maris. Daphne looks fine in that dress. Niles dropped his glass of sherry when Daphne said that the dress was so small she had to take her underwear off in order to zip it up. But she’s wearing tights? Was she being flirty with Niles…

Oh! Speaking of Maris, as you may know, we never saw Maris in the series. I always pictured her looking like JFK Jr’s wife, Carolyn Bessette:

but a little more haggard. After all, Maris shoots warning shots at the deer that graze through the garbage at the Crane family cabin during the holidays. Of course, Niles wants Daphne to come with, but she’s flying to San Francisco to see her Uncle Jackie. At Thanksgiving, she had to cut Jackie out of his pantyhose after dinner.

Frasier is PISSED that his son Frederick isn’t flying to Seattle to see him. Instead he’s flying to Austria with his mom to stay at the house from the Sound of Music….Freddy’s favorite film? That’s a stretch even for the hoity hoity fancy pants Cranes.

Frasier wants to put up a 1990s classic Christmas decoration instead of Martin’s traditional Christmas lights … chili pepper lights!!! I remember they were the first wacky lights that dropped back in the day!

Frasier and Martin’s fights about petty stuff used to be in every single episode in the first season it seemed. Thankfully, they eased off some in the ongoing seasons.

The entire time they’re fighting, Eddie is hiding! Frasier decides to not go to the cabin, and stays at home to fill in for Bulldog on Christmas Day.

I forgot that Roz had to come in to assist Frasier on Christmas Day! Dammit, Frasier, that’s cold. Her mom came from Wisconsin!

“It still traumatizes me … I wake up nights, and I remember that Christmas morning. I walked into my mother’s bedroom, tears running down my face, and I said, ‘mommy, mommy! The puppy Santa gave me won’t wake up.’“

The first time I saw this episode was in the Summer of 1994 reruns when I was 11. That phone call absolutely devastated me. I think I almost cried. I was having a rough time. My dad was out to sea.

You know who voiced Tom, the puppy guy? Mel Brooks.

I’m going to wrap it up here, but most people I think remember this show for the scene at the diner, which I will link to.

One last Frasier thing!! I almost forgot! The 12 Days of Frasier.

Every single time Christmas has been mentioned here at this blog.

332. Beavis & Butthead are dead (November 28, 1997)

(source)

And you say television is predictable?

Who would have guessed a few years ago that one of TV’s rages of the ‘90s would be two homely, repulsive, eternally flatulent, irredeemably moronic teenagers who can barely read, have reached the apex of their lives working in a greasy burger joint and spend most of their time rapt before a set watching rock videos and fantasizing about “scoring”? As in having rip-roaring sex ’round the clock.

Mike Judge could have titled his animated MTV creations “Incredibly Dumb and Even Dumber,” in giving seed to a pair of weaselly, self-mutilating dips who would become at once the antichrists of mainstream television and pop culture’s reigning icons of boorishness.

Instead he named them Beavis and Butt-head.

He fastened these squinty human zits to their ratty couch in front of a rabbit-eared TV in their crummy digs. He gave them reptilian faces beneath their pompadours, and also pea brains and things to say like “cool,” “this sucks” and “heh-heh-heh” and “huh-huh-huh,” in strident voices that he supplied himself. 1

Created by twisted Texan Mike Judge, the B boys accomplished much in their short lives: They chainsawed a grasshopper, spray-painted a dog, incinerated a birthday cake, and watched lots of Metallica videos. They also blessed us with bits of wisdom, such as ”Did you know when you’re eating a rump roast, you’re eating a cow’s butt?” 2

I was only able to catch the episode once, the weekend after it had originally aired back in November of 1997. I remember not being impressed by the episode, I expected that they were going to die in a freak explosion because they did something stupid at their fast food job. Not because they missed three weeks of school because nothing was on TV, and when the school finally called to check up on them, Beavis just tells the secretary that they died.

I just remembered another reason why I wasn’t wowed by this send off – there were no videos to be made fun of. That’s the bread and butter of B&B! I mean, Godley and Creme’s “Cry”? Tom Jones? Pizzicato Five? Crowbar? Ween?! FUNK DAT?!?

Watch the episode here.

Spoiler alert: Principal McVickers dies.

“Hey Beavis, did you see McVickers? He was like ‘bluuugh!’, and then Buzzcut made out with him!”

“We should go to school early tomorrow, in case, you know, someone else dies.”

“Dumbass, we’re rich, we don’t have to go to school ever again!”

“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! That’s pretty damn cool.”

1. Rosenberg, Howard, “Butt-head, we hardly knew ye,” Los Angeles Times, November 26, 1997. http://articles.latimes.com/1997/nov/26/entertainment/ca-57733 .

2. Jacobs, A.J., “The end of Beavis and Butt-head,” Entertainment Weekly, August 15, 1997. http://ew.com/article/1997/08/15/end-beavis-and-butt-head/